Define "chronic" masturbator.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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