maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wish my penis had a tongue
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
