just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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