I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
