I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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