That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
