I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
