Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
