Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
