Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I did not marry a roomba.
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