all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dignity is for republicans.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
