so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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