I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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