You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
