New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
