PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
