I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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