We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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