HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think my vagina is haunted
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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