hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
