We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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