I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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