Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
