I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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