He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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