she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
