I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
