ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
