A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
