I need help removing her.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
