make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
