I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
