Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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