what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
