I think I am morally bankrupt
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
