Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
