He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
