she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have fence marks all over my body
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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