If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
