The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
one might say we're banned from that church
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
