If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
