Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
