please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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