I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
