yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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