therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
