Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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