I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
