i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
