I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
