You're so nebulous sometimes
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
