so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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