Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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