that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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