I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
