I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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