Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
