mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
